Mentalhealth / Toolbox

A Tip

A tip for parents dealing with multiple children with behavioural issues
mine are bigger and uglier now and I’ve had over a decade to work on tactics.

When they start aggravating each other and you can see the first signs of it erupting into a full scale war is the time to start intervening.

but rather than approaching them target one…usually the one most aggravated by the others…..stay on the edge of their perception physically or audibly, don’t try to step between them, and call the name of the one you can see about to erupt.

*name* *name* what is happening?

*Name* Yes she has your shirt but Which specifically is it?

*be specific about the problem, get them talking in full sentences eliciting the specifics with the help of directed questions. You will find as they provide more specific details and providing full sentence responses while they will rebound back to short angry statements, you can slowly defuse them and each answer brings them closer to you and further from their siblings. I find if I camp myself near a TV or device, even without using it once they are closer to me than their siblings they keep drifting closer and eventually pick up the remote control to take some time out.

Ultimately defusing the entire situation, giving everyone a 20 minute time out..or the length of an episode of whatever on netflix.

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